


The dreams I dream sometimes

by gothbyleth



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Developing Relationship, M/M, Male My Unit | Byleth, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Rating May Change, Reunions, background Linhardt/Hubert, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:07:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26011609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothbyleth/pseuds/gothbyleth
Summary: (FIC ON INDEFINITE HIATUS AS OF JANUARY 23 2021)“Surrounded by comrades finding love in each other, Ferdinand looks back at the past 5 years since the war started. Despite his efforts to move on and look ahead towards the future they fight for, he still dreams about the long lost man who had captured his heart with all but a rare, genuine smile.Lost in his own thoughts by the river near Garreg Mhach, his heart nearly stops when he spots a man in the water.A man with the very shade of mint green hair Ferdinand couldn't forget even if he tried.”
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	The dreams I dream sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> JANUARY 23 2021 UPDATE - due to my decision to go on an indefinite hiatus due to IRL not getting sorted enough for me to find motivation nowadays, this fic will not be updated for the foreseeable future.
> 
> I hope to finish it one day, and to find excitement for 3H again, but I've found the longer I try to force myself the less motivation I find.
> 
> Thank you for your support both here and with my other fics! It was lovely and maybe one day I'll be back! ❤️

As the day neared its end and the sun was setting, Ferdinand made his way outside the monastery. ‘A walk to clear my head’ he told Hubert before leaving, though he could only hope that it would actually work this time.

It should have been easy, with the vast expanse of the sky displaying such vibrant, beautiful colors that would have eased his mind any other day. Alas, today his troubles ran deeper than usual and no amount of purple clouds or gentle winds could calm the thoughts that had come back to plague his already overburdened head.

He didn’t want to confide in his comrades. At least not with emotional matters such as these, for he already knew there was no way they’d understand.

Though he didn’t understand it himself either, if he was being honest. Truly, Ferdinand’s heart remained stubborn even now five years later, perhaps more so than ever before. Why else would the love his comrades found in one another remind Ferdinand of what he himself had lost. Or perhaps more accurately, never had to begin with.

He could never fault Hubert and Linhardt for loving each other. In fact, as their friend, Ferdinand was only happy that they had finally stopped dancing around their feelings for each other, finally embracing each other’s love after years of deep yearning. Ferdinand may not always be aware of everything that happens around him, but the way his friends cherished one another was impossible to miss, and it brought him immense relief to behold. 

Still, his own loneliness became so much more difficult to handle when left to his own thoughts. He carried on with his war duties without complaint, but every time he retreated to his own quarters his chest felt hollow. And no matter how much he tried to forget, he only saw the mint green hair he had grown so fond of at the academy before he drifted off to sleep each night.

Ferdinand knew how silly it was, to mourn a man long gone. Even more so a man he would never have been able to devote himself to.

· ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · 

Byleth, stoic and quiet, had intrigued Ferdinand the very day he became the Black Eagles’ professor. That their new teacher was so young, not much older than the students themselves, and seemingly without any previous experiences with teaching seemed a bit odd. Still, Edelgard had not held back any of her praise, openly commending Byleth’s skills in tactics and combat. As much as Ferdinand sought to challenge her in every way back then, he didn’t find it in him to question it at all. In fact, he found that he looked forward to this, and what the upcoming year had in store for them all. He was certainly also eager to see what manner of skills this mercenary turned professor could teach them all.

If anyone noticed Ferdinand’s eyes following Byleth with a hint of fascination for the rest of that day, they didn’t comment on it.

· ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · 

Byleth never spoke more than necessary, and it proved to be really effective when teaching. Never did he speak in terms too complicated, and he had a way of explaining that made even more rigorous subjects and tasks seem simple. It was no wonder that everyone was eager with their studies; their goals felt achievable. It was easy to set aside any doubts creeping up when all battles they were sent on became rousing successes. Byleth was talented at what he did, and it amazed Ferdinand to witness him in combat. The renowned Ashen Demon, frighteningly powerful while striking his opponents down, his face blank and unreadable all the while.

Ferdinand had learned however that there was more to their professor than met the eye. On the day of his birthday, Byleth had found him in the stables and given him flowers. A bouquet of orange cosmos flowers, bright and very beautiful. Ferdinand had seen Byleth tending to them in the greenhouse for a while, but he hadn’t known that they were meant for him.

“Happy birthday, Ferdinand.”

Ferdinand’s heart felt funny as he accepted the bouquet, his eyes meeting Byleth’s for a moment before he broke the brief entrancement that he had lost himself to. His eyes fell on the flowers before returning to the other once more.

“Thank you, professor! They’re very beautiful!” Ferdinand said, a grateful smile forming on his lips.

It was barely noticeable, and had Ferdinand not looked as closely as he did he surely would have missed it, but Byleth’s eyes had a certain glint to them that hadn’t been there before. If it had, that was certainly the first time it took Ferdinand by surprise. With a nod, Byleth turned around before he left. Ferdinand observed him, noting the way Byleth held himself with a certain air of assurance, and how he made doing so look so easy. His cape flowed and was the last thing Ferdinand saw before he disappeared around the corner, leaving Ferdinand alone with his thoughts. He could only stand there even minutes after the other had left, his heartbeat seemingly silencing any remotely coherent trail of thought.

_“Oh no…”_

He didn’t dare put a name on the thrill he felt in that moment.

· ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · 

His legs carried Ferdinand to the river. He hadn’t intended to go this far, but the rippling of the riverbend generally helped soothe him when he felt troubled. And while it wouldn’t solve his problems, it certainly wouldn’t make them worse either.

He jumped up on top of a big rock by the stream, making himself comfortable with legs crossed before sighing, much deeper than he had hoped.

He truly felt hopeless.

The others would look for him eventually, but for now Ferdinand tried to push that thought away. He’d be fine and return to his normal, cheerful self soon, he knew it. 

All he needed was this short break, then he’d feel recharged.

He closed his eyes and simply listened to the stream of the river. It took a while to fully shut out everything else, but it finally helped drown out some of the worry that clung to his heart after a while, even if only a little. Soon he felt his muscles relaxing slowly as he focused on the rippling sound.

He opened his eyes after a moment, and his heart stopped.

Further away there's a person in the water. Blackclad and with hair a certain shade Ferdinand hadn’t seen in 5 years...

Certainly he had gone mad. This could not actually be real.

 _“Goddess have mercy…”_ Ferdinand all but gasped as he stumbled up and hurriedly jumped into the water without hesitation.

His heart beats loudly in his ears as he wades out towards where Byleth is floating, and it only seems to get louder when he feels the former professor breathing. With no time to waste Ferdinand adamantly pushes through the water, wet armor be damned, with Byleth secure in his arms. Byleth begins to stir and when Ferdinand puts him down on solid ground his eyes are open, staring at Ferdinand with what appears to be shock and confusion.

Certainly Ferdinand must look equally startled. Not only was his mind _not_ conjuring up a mirage from years past… Byleth looked at him in a way Ferdinand had never seen before.

“Ferdinand…” Byleth said meekly, cautiously.

Ferdinand could only stare as Byleth reached his hand out, touching the wet tips of his hair carefully, fingers slightly trembling. His confusion became more and more apparent the longer he examined Ferdinand.

_“What happened to you?”_

Ferdinand opens his mouth briefly, but no words come out.

He hates admitting it, but he truly has no idea how to respond and bring assurance. The adrenaline from the shock was still running through his veins, and there was no way he could provide any meaningful answers here and now.

There’d be time to explain later. For now, he needed to bring Byleth to the monastery and the Black Eagles. With some effort he keeps his calm as he begins to squeeze some of the water out of both their clothes.

“We need to get you back to the monastery. Everyone is there, and they will be able to explain better than I can. Hold onto me, I’ll carry you back!” Ferdinand says, removing his wet gloves and squeezing more water out.

“No-- don’t worry, I... think I can walk.” Byleth responds. Ferdinand gives him a worried expression.

“Are you certain? You can lean on me otherwise if you need!”

“I… should be fine. Thank you, Ferdinand.”

Ferdinand wants to argue, but refrains from doing so. Instead he stays beside Byleth as they start making their way to Garreg Mach. The former professor is more than capable, he reminds himself.

The sun is nearly gone as they walk slowly back to the monastery, and the stars start waking up for the night, like an endless glittering blanket above them. Ferdinand keeps an eye on Byleth, who looks smaller than he’s ever seen him before. Confused, vulnerable.

Byleth’s eyes fall to Ferdinand repeatedly as they walk close to each other, and his face is unreadable. All Ferdinand can do is smile when their eyes meet, to hopefully reassure him that things will be fine. He knows they will be.

He also knows what needs to be done upon their return. He needs to find Edelgard and Hubert immediately.


End file.
